Having a moment with my dad
No reason to write but just to get some thoughts down. It's lightly snowing at the moment and it always puts me in a calmer state.
I know part of life is seeing someone you love pass into the next world. It's one of those parts of life that is hard to face but harder when you see that someone suffering and wanting to alleviate the pain. I have been watching my dad going through his sufferings for quite some time now. First having his stroke (and many afterwards), dealings with cancer, surgeries, loss of mobility and throughout all of this...he still has a sense of humor (sometimes...you can't expect someone to laugh all the time). I realize I am so much like my dad in that respect, but I digress.
After Christmas 2014, I saw my dad in the worst possible shape. Very pale, non responsive which led him to the ER. Again, despite through people poking and prodding him, he had his wits and humor with him.
Presently, he is under the care of hospice and fading. Losing weight and looking extremely frail but wants to know all the doings for his funeral and final resting place. He is such a strong man to go through this knowing he will not know any of this. I'm glad I put the time and effort to visit them weekly because this is how memories are made. He still has his humor about him even though he has no control over his bodily functions or mobility. Yet we can sit there and bitch at the TV villain on why he is trying to defeat Chuck Norris! Why would anyone think they would win? Humor moments I am treasuring because that is my dad. He knows what is happening but he is there. Yes, he has his moments that his brain fires off odd memories or whatever but when we talk, I know he is there.
I will cherish his humor and hope to steal more of these little moments with him. I know that is what I will miss the most. Hurts like hell but it is life.
I know part of life is seeing someone you love pass into the next world. It's one of those parts of life that is hard to face but harder when you see that someone suffering and wanting to alleviate the pain. I have been watching my dad going through his sufferings for quite some time now. First having his stroke (and many afterwards), dealings with cancer, surgeries, loss of mobility and throughout all of this...he still has a sense of humor (sometimes...you can't expect someone to laugh all the time). I realize I am so much like my dad in that respect, but I digress.
After Christmas 2014, I saw my dad in the worst possible shape. Very pale, non responsive which led him to the ER. Again, despite through people poking and prodding him, he had his wits and humor with him.
Presently, he is under the care of hospice and fading. Losing weight and looking extremely frail but wants to know all the doings for his funeral and final resting place. He is such a strong man to go through this knowing he will not know any of this. I'm glad I put the time and effort to visit them weekly because this is how memories are made. He still has his humor about him even though he has no control over his bodily functions or mobility. Yet we can sit there and bitch at the TV villain on why he is trying to defeat Chuck Norris! Why would anyone think they would win? Humor moments I am treasuring because that is my dad. He knows what is happening but he is there. Yes, he has his moments that his brain fires off odd memories or whatever but when we talk, I know he is there.
I will cherish his humor and hope to steal more of these little moments with him. I know that is what I will miss the most. Hurts like hell but it is life.
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