Re-examining my Faith

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It's been almost 2 weeks since my dad has passed and I'm slowly coming out of my depression.  It's a game changer to lose a parent and it makes me scared of the inevitable...losing my mom.  

I'll admit, I haven't been to church for a few months and I was pretty ticked off at God for making my parents go through Hell.  They're good people so why should they endure that bullshit?  But now that dad is gone, I have had a change of heart.  I want to get back to church and have a relationship with God.  It is more for a selfish reason...to be with my dad in Heaven but I have been carrying around this hatred in my heart for a long time.  

I emailed my friend at my church who I used have choir and dance asking how to reconnect.  I know going back to church is a good step but there has to be more.  There's an app for reconnecting with God on the tablet that I have to look at.  I used it before to read all the Gospels.  Good day to examine my Faith.  

Anywho, that's where I am at.  I don't want to be left behind...I want to be with my parents in Paradise.

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