The roller coaster ride of emotion
Over the past few weeks, I have been really good at hiding my dissatisfaction with many things. I have vented in my support group but it would be nice to have someone I can really connect. I am feeling worthless in getting anything done. Almost nonexistent. I am trying my damnedest not to fall into the depths of depression. I don't know what to do or how to turn my thoughts towards the positive.
I was thinking maybe if I get back to church and God maybe that would help. I have such a volatile relationship with God now. I am so angry at what has been happening with my folks and how they receive barely any help (financially or emotionally)and what has been going on with me with more and more symptoms. If I hear that saying 'God only gives you challenges that He knows you can do', I think I am going to punch someone in the face. I don't know about the church thing yet. I really do not want to convert to one religion to another. I don't know as of yet what I am going to do. I just feel lost spiritually.
As for school, I have one class I have to take in order for me to graduate from OCC. The counselors told me that I will still be able to walk in May. I will be taking the first part of the Michigan BEI test on December 5th in Detroit.
I feel like I am coming out of my skin. I wish I could pinpoint on my anxiety I have been feeling. I pace the house a lot and I don't know what to do with myself.
I hope I do find some kind of relief, whatever it is...
I was thinking maybe if I get back to church and God maybe that would help. I have such a volatile relationship with God now. I am so angry at what has been happening with my folks and how they receive barely any help (financially or emotionally)and what has been going on with me with more and more symptoms. If I hear that saying 'God only gives you challenges that He knows you can do', I think I am going to punch someone in the face. I don't know about the church thing yet. I really do not want to convert to one religion to another. I don't know as of yet what I am going to do. I just feel lost spiritually.
As for school, I have one class I have to take in order for me to graduate from OCC. The counselors told me that I will still be able to walk in May. I will be taking the first part of the Michigan BEI test on December 5th in Detroit.
I feel like I am coming out of my skin. I wish I could pinpoint on my anxiety I have been feeling. I pace the house a lot and I don't know what to do with myself.
I hope I do find some kind of relief, whatever it is...
Comments